If five years ago you would have told me that I would be planning a commitment ceremony with a man—I would have said you were crazy. I had been an “out” lesbian since the age of 14! Then again, if anyone would have told my partner five years ago that he would be transitioning his gender and becoming legally male—he would not have believed it either!

There are those who think the California gold rush ended in the 1850’s. They’re mistaken, and obviously haven’t peeked into a jewelry store or driven past Cake And Art in West Hollywood since the California Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage. Retail mega-player Macy’s even took out full-page newspaper ads in Los Angeles and San Francisco within days of the California Supreme Court’s decision. “First comes love,” the wording scrolls out under a pair of cuddling wedding rings, “Then comes marriage.

At a recent lesbian-sponsored event in San Diego, I was reminded of how few lesbians I truly know. “Who are you, and why don’t I know you?” asked a woman curious to know me, as if to insinuate that all lesbians in San Diego should be already acquainted. My typical response to these often-asked questions is that, although I have lived in San Diego for a little over five years, I was in a three-and-a-half-year committed relationship with a woman who rarely enjoyed nights “out on the town”, and I was engaged in a six month long distance relationship.