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Dating is no simple journey… and dating someone who just got out of a long-term relationship can be a slippery slope. As you go through the dating process and you start to get attached, how do you know that the relationship isn’t a rebound or a future heart ache? There are no guarantees to prevent future pains, but there are some red flags and warning signs for danger that you can keep your eye on.
Here are a few warning signs to watch out for (when you are dating someone who recently got out of a long-term relationship):
-- They call you by the Ex’s name.
-- They expect you to act like their Ex.
-- They frown over old photos of the Ex. Or they destroy all the old photos and pretend it didn’t happen.
-- They have endless complaints and long discussions about the Ex. They continue to speak of only that relationship and nothing else.
-- They constantly re-read old love letters from the Ex.
-- They are distant, slow to connect, and avoid commitment.
-- They avoid introducing you to their family and friends.
-- They are overly clingy and simply want a body to be around.
-- They go towards their Ex for support and don’t lean on you for support.
If you are running into a few of these red flags, bring it up into discussion and check in with them.
Overall, tread cautiously and know that a break-up from a long-term relationship may require a longer recovery. Keep in mind that this person may simply need to take the dating process slower than usual. Open up lines of communication about your concerns and talk about both of your expectations and fears.
Jennine Estes has a couple's therapy practice dealing with all aspects of conflict, working through sexual addiction issues, and/or increasing intimacy. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFC#47653). To learn more about Jennine, visit her Couple's Therapy Web site. To read other relationship articles by Jennine, visit: Relationships In the Raw.