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Therapy Brew: When DADT becomes "Don’t ask, it’s none of your business"

Editor's Note: San Diego Gay & Lesbian News is pleased to welcome back Stephen Brewer, MA, after a long hiatus while he completed his dissertation. We proposed DADT to Stephen as a topic to explore in his come-back column, and as a result, he conducted several in-person interviews and transcribed the responses, all from career military servicemen, about their feelings regarding the upcoming repeal. Watch for future columns where Stephen takes on more hot topics in LGBT news.

In the Raw: How to bounce back after a gay bashing

The LGBT community has suffered from gay-bashing for years, and although 2011 has brought much change and many cities are more open and accepting of same-sex relationships, one-on-one hate crimes are still on the rise.

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Modern Love: Why gay and lesbian couples should consider prenuptial agreements

More states are allowing same-sex marriages, but most do not. As a result, there remain significant differences in the rights of gay and lesbian couples who enter into a marriage or a domestic partnership from those afforded to “traditional” marriages.

LGBT couples have options to protect assets when considering either a domestic partnership or marriage, and prenuptial agreements are more common these days for both straight and same-sex couples. This is because people are waiting longer to form a serious relationship, thus each has accumulated significant assets.

The Center's Carolina Ramos talks about gay Latinos fighting bias, stereotypes

Carolina Ramos has seen the struggle over and over again. She is the Latino/a services coordinator for the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) Community Center in San Diego, where she sees families torn and battered, as they try to come to grips with a child who has a different sexual orientation.

"A lot of people think LGBT issues are one thing, and Latino issues are another," Ramos said. "But for many people, you cannot separate them."

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In the Raw: An issue of control

Several summers ago I went to a local ski resort (yes, in the summer) where I took my mountain bike up the ski lift to the top. It was a beautiful view with a bright clear sky, wind blowing on my face and nature surrounding me. It was breathtaking.

When I first stood there looking down the steep mountain, I was nervous about my novice biking skills, but I was up for a good challenge.

Bilingual guide for Latinos looks at sexual orientation, gender identity and the Bible

CINCINNATI — In an effort to foster a dialogue with Latino families and churches on sexual orientation, gender identity and the Bible, equality groups today unveiled a new bilingual guide, "A La Familia: A Conversation About Our Families, the Bible, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity," at a press conference during the League of United Latin American Citizens’ (LULAC) 82nd national convention.

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Human Rights Campaign Foundation and UNID@S joined together to produce the guide.

Coming out is most beneficial in a supporting environment, study finds

A new study suggests more emotional benefits to coming out as lesbian, gay or bisexual than previously thought, but only if there is a supportive environment.

The study is published in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science.

Researchers say the finding underscores the importance of creating workplaces and other social settings that are accepting of all people, but especially gay, lesbian or bisexual individuals, said psychologist and coauthor Dr. Richard Ryan of the University of Rochester.

In the Raw: The art of decision making when you both disagree

How should our disagreements be handled while making a decision? What should we do when we both feel right when we disagree?

These questions are common … especially since "most marital arguments cannot be resolved," according to John Gottman in his book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work." Making decisions when both partners disagree is an issue I continue to see regularly in my therapy practice.

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In the Raw: Rebuilding trust after you have an affair

Editor's Note: This column originally ran in January of 2010, but due to the timeliness of the topic, we decided to run it again. Enjoy.

It started with a flirt, a simple flirt.

This harmless friendship crossed the line; flirtatious text messages, anticipation for the next contact, or simply a shoulder to cry on when things weren’t going right in your relationship.

In the Raw: How to set boundaries when your friend is a drama queen

Do you hate drama? Better yet, are you tired of your close friend crossing the line with the amount of drama they dump on you?

Friendships are definitely a place to toss around thoughts and support each other through the daily grind, but there is a fine line of what is normal and what is too much.

Everyone has a different comfort level with the amount of information they give and take in a friendship. If you are at your maximum capacity when it comes to the drama of your friend, you need to set boundaries with them.

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