Dear Diana,

I need help fast! I met this wonderful bi-girl at a Halloween party and we’ve been dating at least once a week since. On Friday morning she had to leave for an early meeting and told me to just sleep in and lock the door on the way out. Well, when I woke up I was so freaked out because my period had started early and left blood stains on her white sheets. I rushed to rip them off the bed so I could get the stains out and when I did a condom wrapper flew up and landed on the floor. Just the opened wrapper. What do I do? We haven’t talked about just seeing each other, I assumed that was what we are doing. I’m so grossed out if she’s having men in the bed, and really grossed out if she isn’t washing the sheets in between. I so don’t want to go back over there. I don’t even want to see her because I don’t know what stupid thing I’d say. I wanted to leave the wrapper on the newly washed bed sheets, but instead buried it in her kitchen trash.

Dear Darling,

Oh my, how appalling! But, let's take a deep breath. Ahhh...breathe...shhh.... How conscientious of you to want your lady to have clean sheets and head to her washing machine! Note, pre-treat with spray and wash or a gentle mix of detergent and cold water. And I hear even hydrogen peroxide plus warm water before wash is good. Now, onto the "good" stuff.
A condom in the sheets. Just because a women is bi, does not mean she leaves Monday, Wednesday and Friday for women, and Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for men. A Condom? Let’s be real. They have many uses including dildo wrappers, water balloons, finger wraps, etc. A condom wrapper in the sheets means this woman is conscientious of the consequences of unprotected sex, or decontaminating a dildo. So, before you become a witness on a Law and Order reality episode, think about your own issues that lead you to the conclusion that a condom means she is doing men in YOUR bed turf.
And, geeze, there are people (I wouldn't know) who don't flip mattresses and bed fluffs every time they do laundry. Cut her some slack. (Did you do carbon dating on that wrapper?)
Put your insecurities on hold, tell her what happened, and tell her, as embarrassingly as it was to bleed on the sheets, that you were totally shocked to find a ramped wrapper. Of course she will be caught off guard. Give her a couple minutes because dear god, that's a trip into a personal sect of her life; Be it past, self, house guests, whatever.
Could it be you think you have sex monogamy, and she does not?
If you are too insecure for emotional verbal communication, well, you will continue, metaphorically, to see wrappers flying before your eyes.