- Health, Wellness & Sports
- Equality Directory
Lady Fay has captivated on-air listeners in Miami, San Francisco and New York. The outspoken lesbian broke ground as one of the very first Latino women to give a passionate voice to the Latino gay community. She has had numerous jobs as a radio personality over the years and made a striking impression on the syndicated “The Luis Jimenez Show” in New York City.
Now Lady Fay is taking on the “City of Angels”… L.A., that is. As an activist, model and out and proud performer in the entertainment industry, she is ready for her close-up and is always ready with her wit, passion and personality.
Lavender Lens: Describe your impressions of the L.A. scene right now.
Lady Fay: You know? I’m still trying to figure that out because it can’t be this good! Coming from New York, people are just uber-mean there, so you just get used to that. But here, everybody says, “Hello” and everybody looks good and everybody dresses nice. I have nothing negative… besides the traffic, to say about Los Angeles so far. I keep on waiting for the bubble to burst.
LL: I have a friend who lives in New York and she had a giant rat pop out at her on the street and she was freaked out about that.
Lady Fay: (laughter) Was it actually a rat or was it a bum? It could be either one.
LL: It was a rat! What has been something you’ve said on-air that caused a positive impression for listeners and something that created a negative impression?
Lady Fay: It’s funny. In a weird way, the positive and the negative would be sort of the same answer. Positive-wise, working in a very Latin market and New York is very Latin. The show that I was on was very Spanglish. Basically, everybody who listened to the show was a mix of Puerto Rican Americans, Dominican Americans or Mexican Americans, all second generation born here.
For the most part, Latinos have weird stereotypes when it comes to machismo and it comes to the gay community. So, a positive thing was that this was the first time for many, many Latino males to have a one-on-one view of the gay community through my eyes. They would see that we were not that different as they thought we were. Our lives were just like theirs. My partner would get mad at me for not taking out the garbage…just like their wives would be mad at them for not doing a chore around the house. There were many times when listeners would just come up to me and say, “I was ignorant and sometimes not knowing something makes you have a certain kind of heat towards a group of people. You just don’t know. Hearing your stories, you made it sound so normal.” I would always just respond, “I am normal. I’m not a freak of nature just because I’m gay.” That’s been such a positive thing.
On the flip side of it, there has been many times where it’s been ignorance and bliss for a lot of people. People have come up to me and said, “I really don’t want to hear about your disgusting lifestyle. I don’t want to hear about what you do in your home.” I would never talk about… my stories were never sexually driven. It was just normal partner stories or dating stories, basically stories of my life. It could have been a heterosexual story but it was my story.
LL: This shift in tolerance is changing but at the same time for some, it’s locked in stone.
Lady Fay: Yes. I agree with you, Bill, it is changing. It’s just like everything else. Like with gay marriage, I want it to be legal now. Yet, the steps are so slow. I hope that in our lifetime that we look back and go, “What the hell were we thinking not letting gays get married. Just like when blacks weren’t allowed to vote.” It’s just unfortunate that it takes so much time. Some people are just wired in certain ways and so accustomed that they just can’t think that their parents are wrong. If your parents are telling you, “This is wrong. What those people are doing is wrong,” for whatever reason, you believe it. I think the Latino culture is just so family oriented, they just get stuck in something. Now I’m Spanish but I’ve had the luxury of living in cities that were very highly gay populated. Many people have not had the experiences that I’ve had.
LL: I was extremely fortunate to get married to my partner in the window of opportunity in California in October of 2008.
Lady Fay: Yeah. I’ve been with my partner now for five years. We’re that couple that is now the longest-engaged couple ever. That’s because I refuse to have a ceremony somewhere where it’s not legal. So, I might be waiting a lot of years. I think I deserve to be married somewhere where it’s legal. Just because I’m a gay female does not mean I haven’t dreamt my whole life about my wedding, the dress, the flowers and my guests. I should not be short-changed because I love a woman.
LL: You have been described as “outspoken.” Just what does that word mean to you?
Lady Fay: It’s funny. In Spanish slang, there’s this line that basically means in English… “I don’t have hair on my tongue.” That’s hysterical with me being a lesbian (laughter). That’s the line in Spanish basically meaning, “I don’t have a filter.” I feel strong and passionate about something, even if it might jeopardize an opportunity. I’ve had people that have hired me for countless events and then have had another event and I asked, “What happened? Maybe I didn’t do a good job last time. You don’t want to hire me this time?” And then they’d say, “It’s more of a family type of thing and I didn’t really know if you would fit the mold.” So, basically “outspoken” means to me what I’m feeling in my heart and what I’m thinking… I’m not gonna go bash somebody, but if I feel strongly about something, I’m gonna make sure that it’s heard. I think I was put on this earth to be a voice. For whatever reason and in any facet, that’s what I was put here to do. I can only speak for myself but I can’t imagine what it’s like to live life and be afraid of saying things. It’s hard enough living life… period. There are too many obstacles in this world. Why live with that stress on your shoulders?
LL: You obviously are a funny lady. What are some of your observations lately of the media and celebrity world, just off the top of your head?
Lady Fay: Oh god. So many things… I can see how so many people make money being comedians because of so many things going on in the world and just how funny they are. Arnold Schwarzenegger having a kid out of wedlock with someone who lived in his household and his wife was the last to know! Oh, really! How is that even possible? Or Charlie Sheen winning and having the goddesses live in his house and the guy is cracked-out of his mind. That’s crazy but then again, people continue to marry him. Really? I don’t understand that.
Lisa Lampanelli, she’s one of my favorite comedians. She was getting bashed or something and she’s worried about gay men not liking her? Gay men make up most of the people who go see her at every show! I don’t get it. Or The Kardashians…they have like fourteen shows and again… I don’t understand what they do. I’m still trying to figure out what the f@#k they do! I have no idea. I think the next show is just going to be Kim Kardashian’s ass (laughter). Kim Kardashian’s ass on E! That’s what is going to be what’s left.
LL: Hilarious! Well, best of luck in La-La Land and thank you.
Lady Fay: Oh thank you. It’s been a pleasure.