Adventures in Dating

I have trouble focusing sometimes.

There are deadlines for SDGLN.com, homework, work projects, community events to attend to, and…boys. Recently single, I find that boys are once again on my radar – dead center.

Of course, when I was “taken,” there seemed to be an abundance of boys, maybe the whole “off-limits” thing made me more attractive. Not that I find the well to be completely dried up now, but I guess I am more in tune with the types of boys that I like and find the ones that aren’t really for me, to be in greater supply.

I also get caught up with silly little crushes when I meet cute boys. I do things like leave extra large tips for servers that catch my eye, or find my crush’s Facebook profile and post an unintentionally cheesy message on their wall. If I visit a place and start crushing on someone that works there, I find dozens of reasons to keep going back to that establishment. I once had a crush on a guy that worked at a pet store and even though I do not own a pet, I have a stockpile of dog food bags in my garage.

I was 24 years old the last time I was single, and I feel that flirting and dating are things I have to re-learn. I am almost 30 years old (but not 30 yet!) and I’ve grown up. I have a different mentality now, and I am having a lot of fun meeting different and interesting types of people. The best part is that I have been meeting people in a variety of places, not just the traditional bars and nightclubs.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with meeting someone in a bar. My recent ex and I met at Numbers five years ago, and had quite a happy relationship. But I no longer feel hypocritical when my response to people who say “I’m so sick of these guys I meet at the clubs,” or, “it’s all the same people,” is, there are many other venues to meet people.

Get Involved. I know it sounds very Dear Abby-like, because she always advises people to join a church group or volunteer organization, but it really works. For example, San Diego Pride has put together an amazing group of young, up-and-coming leaders as part of their Ambassador Program (57 of them so far). This unique program connects people with Pride and the community. I attended an Ambassador reception recently and met a successful and attractive guy with great lips (we have a coffee date in the works). If you want to be a part of the Ambassador Program, e-mail Ken St. Pierre at sponsor@sdpride.org.

Attend Art, Fashion Mixers, Grand Openings and Special Events. Many of these events do take place at bars or clubs, but they usually occur before the place officially opens up. I have a huge fetish for creative types like artists, fashion designers, hair stylists and makeup talents. These events are always filled with pretty gays and unlike the 10 p.m. – 2 am bar hours, these events are less catty. I actually met an amazing guy at SDGLN.com’s launch party last week. We Facebooked the next day and have hung out twice since then. Easy as that! Check out the SDGLN.com social events calendar at www.sdpix.com/events to find upcoming fun.

Coffeehouses. They really do work. Bring a book or laptop, pretend like you are studying and position yourself near someone that catches your eye. The intellectual look is attractive and if you really are intellectual, you may just find something to strike up a conversation about. There are plenty of coffeehouses around town to choose from, although the Starbucks on University Ave is kind of a meat market and does not count.

For now, I am testing the waters and looking for the next Mr. Right. Maybe I already know him or he might still be out there. Regardless, I am having a good time and will be out there looking for you!

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