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On the way back from the store, I was doing a bit of casual reading through an LBGT magazine when I noticed the acronym “LBGTQ.”
I found this very interesting since I thought I was starting to get it all down. So, I decided to ask my Obi Wan Kenobi, Donny Banana, what’s with the “Q” at the end of the acronym?
I was dumfounded to find the “Q” stood for queer. I asked him, “Uh … Banana … isn’t that the same thing?” To my surprise, he informed me that there are some members of the gay community (both male and female) who would prefer not to be labeled as “gay” or “lesbian” and would prefer to be called “queer.” What?!@# So, there’s a label for those who don’t want to be labeled?
And what’s with the labels anyway? When I was first introduced to the gayborhood, there were more terms than I knew what to do with. I was beginning to wonder if there was a fruity dictionary that could break it all down for me. The only other time I had felt bombarded by so many terms was upon first reading the Harry Potter book series.
There are a lot of members of the gayborhood who loath labels and a lot of them who use them as frequently as they use the toilet. Now, while I can see the point of view from those who would prefer not to be labeled, I have to look at this logistically. So, let’s get started! Shall we?
On my list, there were fruits, twinks, bears, otters, wolves, queens, daddies, trolls, tops, bottoms, top vers, bottom vers, total top, total bottom, pitcher, catcher, fruit fly, fag hag, produce girl, flame dame, and the list goes on and on and on. What does that make Dumbledore? Hmmm.
In a world where labels are apparent, so much so, that there’s a label for those who don’t want to be labeled, it makes me wonder; is it just a matter of who is using the labels? Let’s say, a fruit fly for instance? And if it wasn’t who was the one saying it, than what exactly is the deal? It’s all in good fun, right?
We can’t have this much fun with labels on the straight scene. Most of the time, the labels are degrading and meant to insult. However, in the gayborhood, many of times I find there’s a lot of pride behind the labels.
It is obvious that there are some gay men in the neighborhood who are not OK with the labels that are placed on them. On my blog (www.AmericasFinestFruitFly.com), I received a lot of comments (and not enough feedback) about the reality of some gay men being “tops” and some gay men being “bottoms.” While my intention was to recognize that gay men go through a lot more in their dating life than straight men will ever have to go through, I received a lot of criticism that I shouldn’t “label” gays. Fair enough. Let’s look at the situation from my point of view.
Everyone is a product of the information they have been taught, seen or experienced. This is a fact from the very moment of birth. So don’t you think I’ve been receiving this information from members within the gay community? I mean, really! I can’t make this stuff up even if I tried.
If you knew me, you would understand my intentions and then you’d buy me an apple martini (and you’ll have the opportunity to at the Fruit Fly Party at Bacchus House on Oct. 9, 2010! Come celebrate and bring your fruit flies with you!)
Please understand, my blog is for entertainment purposes only and it is not intended to offend the community I write for. In fact, I’m an open book for all comments and feedback. Remember, I’m as much in the learning process as the next straight person. However, as I mentioned in my very first article, if you can’t take the heat, get out of my kitchen!
As in Harry Potter, it didn’t matter if you are a muggle, a death eater or a squib. They were all proud of the magical world they belonged to and while we can see some of this in the gayborhood, there are obviously those who feel differently. If only we could sprinkle some get-along magic on the gayborhood. Now, where did I put my fairy dust?
S.T. Fernandez, America's Finest Fruit Fly,
You can view this and other articles on my blog at www.AmericasFinestFruitFly.com. These are my documented experiences of a straight girl in the gayborhood. While I am a novelist, I feel inspired to make others laugh by writing about the situations I've experienced as a result of hanging out with my moodles. Thanks for the content, my friends!