(This post originally appeared HERE in SDGLN media partner Gay San Diego.)

While everybody is talking about hooking up, no one is exactly sure what it means. Here are some characteristics I discovered:

• Almost any sexual act. A hookup can range from a make-out session to full out sex;

• Sexual activity outside the context of a romantic relationship;

• No commitment involved. If you hook up, the other person might have no expectations of hooking up with you again.

Some people can remember hiding away when the parents would “go at it” or the fear of the “bad things” when dad was drunk. Unfortunately some people have experienced never being taken care of as a child, not protected, alone trying to cope as a little kid.

The unpredictable and scary environment has a long-term impact on how we respond to others, especially in intimate relationships. As children, our brains are like sponges: We watch, learn and then replicate.

One of the wonderful things about living in San Diego is that the weather is gorgeous all year. Having been born and raised here, I never really understood the significance of the arrival of spring, until my husband and I lived in the Boston area for two winters. When the thermometer finally showed 50 degrees, the people in my office and I wanted to break out the windows so we could let the “warm” air in!

I conducted a workshop a couple of weeks ago in Milwaukee, Wisc. based on my book, “Coming Out To Ourselves … Admitting, Accepting Who We Truly Are.” The title of the workshop is “It’s My Story, and It’s Sticking to Me.”

Much of the workshop has to do with what we believe and tell ourselves, about our past, other people, and even God (Spirit, the Universe, our Higher Power).